In a World That Demands You Hide, Here’s How to Anchor Into the Truth of Who You Really Are

In this heartfelt episode, Kathleen Flanagan invites you to explore what it really means to remove the mask you’ve been wearing and return to your true self. Drawing from her own journey of hiding behind perfection, people-pleasing, and invisibility, she reveals the emotional and spiritual cost of living out of alignment with who you really are—and the small, safe steps you can take to begin living authentically.

You’ll learn why we start hiding in the first place, how to recognize when the mask has taken over, and why reconnecting with your values is key to finding your way back home to yourself. Kathleen shares a simple grounding ritual to feel safe in your own skin, personal stories of standing in integrity, and insights on letting go of relationships and situations that no longer align with your truth.

This episode is both a compassionate guide and a call to action, reminding you that the world doesn’t need your perfection—it needs your presence. Whether you’re just beginning to question the life you’ve built or you’re ready to step fully into your authenticity, this conversation will encourage, inspire, and support you every step of the way.

Chapters

• 7:40 Returning to Authenticity
• 13:32 The Power of Values
• 19:35 Embracing Vulnerability
• 25:20 Living Authentically
• 28:52 Creating Community and Connection

Transcript

Kathleen (00:02)
Welcome to the journey of an awakening spirit.

a sacred space where transformation begins. This podcast is your guide to rediscovering your true self, breaking free from old limitations and embracing the power of your soul's calling. Here, you'll receive practical tools, soulful insights, and uplifting conversations that remind you you are never alone on this path. We'll open the lines and dive deep into the questions that matter most to you.

Now, let's begin this powerful journey together with your host of the journey of an awakening spirit, Kathleen Flanagan.

Kathleen Flanagan (00:46)
Have you ever felt like the world only applauds the mask that you wear, but would turn away if they saw the real you? Maybe you know exactly how to look the part. You say the right things, you keep it all together for your job, for your family, for your responsibilities, and people admire you for it. But what they don't see is the ache you carry inside, the exhaustion, the quiet moments.

where you wonder if anyone knows or even cares who you really are. I know this place. I've lived it for years. There was a time when I believed that if I ever let the mask slip, even just for a moment, I'd lose everything. So I performed, I excelled. I smiled when I was breaking inside and at night when no one was looking,

I felt like I was disappearing into my own life. And you know what? It wasn't because I was weak. It was because I had been taught, like so many of us, that it's safer to hide than to be seen. Hello everyone, this is Kathleen Flanagan and welcome to the journey of an awakening spirit. So why do we hide? Well, one of the truths is that none of us were born hiding.

As children, we all came into the world with our hearts wide open, our voices were free, our eyes were bright with curiosity, and we were unapologetically ourselves. But somewhere along the way, we learned the rules. Don't be too loud. Don't be sensitive. Don't rock the boat. Don't make people feel uncomfortable. The message is clear. Be who you are, who you want to be.

not who you are really. So we developed the false mask. And that is the part of what we do to continue to protect ourselves because it is safe. And it's, you know, if it's about being the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect employee, the perfect boss, whatever it is, we became the caretakers of

that we don't need any help, that we're able to do this ourselves because we had to develop that stiff upper lip, so to speak. And we also learned that it got us our approval if we were good and we smiled and we were happy and we didn't rock the boat, everything was good. And that kept the peace and it also hid our pain. I can't tell you how many times I got slapped down for saying things. I mean, I was six years old. remember,

saying something to my father about I'm going to do what you say. No, I don't have to do what you say because what you do is different. And I got smacked. I did not know at six years old what I was saying to my father at that time. I was basically calling him a hypocrite, but I didn't have any idea that I was doing that. And anytime that I spoke up, I thought the nuns in the Catholic school didn't like us. I thought it was my last name. I didn't understand why

everything seemed to be not good. And I really developed an issue and I thought it was my last name, so I thought nobody ever liked me and I know it wasn't my last name. I think it was just because of the kind of person that I was that I just spoke out. And I mean, I told the nuns that they had it all wrong with the Jesus story and all that. I mean, I did, because I knew that they had it wrong.

And I was always in trouble because I had this mouth. So I learned at a very young age that it's better to not say anything because people get offended and they don't like it, or I'm speaking a truth, or they don't understand it, or I feared them, or whatever, and I'm a little kid and I'm scaring people, okay? So can you imagine what it was like when I got older? So when I finally did come out to start speaking, it wasn't always fun. It was easier for me to

Be invisible. I preferred being invisible, even in a crowded room. I mean, I remember one time I was at a leadership and the woman was trying to find all the invisible people. sitting front row center staring right at her she didn't see me. And she said, who did I miss? And I was probably about one of the only ones because I knew how to be invisible. And she was very angry about it, partly because I was invisible and partly because she didn't see me when I was standing right there in front of her. You know, we also,

cut off ourselves spiritually when we do this. We're cutting off our own soul. Now we don't know this as a child. We're not told anything like this, but it's exhausting to be this way that we're always performing the hard work. Nothing was ever good enough. I always had to keep moving forward. And worst of all, I started to believe that the mask was who I was. And I've told you this story in the past about when I was in my twenties is when I, ⁓

started meditation and that was the thing that started saving my life because there was something more, there was something bigger than me and I could be who I was. I don't think I accepted who I was at that point because it was too big and you know, we're not afraid of who we are necessarily. We're afraid of the bigness of who we truly are. We're afraid of the grand beings that we are. So being made small,

is a lot easier to stay then because then you don't have to take on any responsibility because God forbid I would have to take on any kind of responsibility whatsoever for being who I am or what I thought or how I felt about anything. So how do we come back to ourselves?

We begin by slowing down and listening to what's inside. I say this so many times over and over and over again, but there's so much truth in just slowing down. And I know that this world is crazy, crazy, crazy right now. And I know that I have back in the 90s when I created Awakening Spirit, what was one of the philosophies that I had? I wanted.

and wanted to create a simpler, happier time. Back when my grandmother, your great-grandparents time. Things were simpler. It didn't mean it was easy living back then, but it was simpler. We weren't tied into our phones. We didn't even have phones most of the time or they were just starting to develop. The cars were just starting to come out. We were mainly workers. It was during the depression. Not that I would want any of us to ever go through something like that, but...

It was still quieter. People were friendlier. They talked to each other. We weren't afraid. We weren't all about me. We were moving. We were doing things as neighbors. We supported each other. And now everybody's just on their phone and they don't even have any connection with anyone. And it's like, I have 10,000 friends on Facebook. Well, so what? They're not going to be in the hospital if you're dying or you're sick. They don't care about you. That's an illusion.

That's part of the mask that you're wearing of like, look at me, I'm really important. I have all these friends. Well, you know what? I don't care if I have 10,000 friends on Facebook. What I care about is the, don't care if I have five friends. If I have five good friends, I'm a very lucky person that I can be who I am with those five people. And that is a gift. And most people, I don't even know if they have that anymore. But I remember hearing that when I was younger. If you have five good friends, you are a very blessed and lucky person. And I do have that.

and I'm very grateful that I do have that. But I nurtured those. It was allowing people to really see me who allowed me to speak my mind and help me to grow and evolve and push me. Because sometimes you don't want to be pushed into growing and evolving, but I was pushed into that because ultimately that's what I wanted. And thank God for that. So right now, why don't we just go ahead and close your eyes if you feel safe to do so.

Take in a slow, deep breath.

and let it out.

Again, take in a deep breath.

and let it out.

Ask yourself, what's alive inside of me right now?

Not what you should feel.

not what's acceptable to feel.

Just the truth.

That truth may feel small at first, like a whisper, but the more you listen, the stronger it gets.

Your values are your anchor and they hold you steady when the world tries to pull you back into hiding. And for me, one of the deepest values is authenticity. And when I wasn't living it, my life felt heavy. But when I began aligning my choices with authenticity, the heaviness began to lift.

Think about your own life.

What are the three values that matter most to you?

Is it peace?

Is it freedom?

connection.

Creativity.

Write them down.

These are your compass points.

I know when I really brought my values into my workplace, I think it was when I made a decision. I had a VA and I believe I've told this story, but I had a VA and he would go rogue. And it really bothered me that he always went rogue on me and we would have appointments and he wouldn't show up. And I remember when I did some core value work with myself and I realized

One of my core values is integrity. And he wasn't that. There was no signs that this guy had any integrity whatsoever. He was a young kid. What he could do was really good if I could get him to do anything. And I remember when I looked at our contract and he didn't knew one thing that was in the contract, not one thing.

I was doing all the work and he's getting paid for me doing all the work. And I fired him. And it was all of a sudden, I can do better, I can do better, I can do better. And it was like, yeah, I've heard that before. And I just fired him and I felt good. And I didn't have all that head trash because integrity is number one. I mean, I really believe in integrity. I know I don't trust people. I'm very well aware of that fact. And as I was talking to my adjuster about my roofing,

claim, I got to understand, because I have been trying to understand this claim since what? The end of May, beginning of June. And I just felt like I was just getting cheated somehow. And I just didn't know. And I fired probably one adjuster left. I fired another one. And so I finally got someone who was actually talking to me today. And we're and I'm trying to understand what she's saying and what the invoice was that

the rougher gave to my insurance company and what I was allowed, it's like they're taking all the money and they're not allowing for the windows that need to be dealt with and they're not dealing with the siding and the handrail. And then they're putting claims in saying they did things when they didn't do it. I mean, it was one of those and I finally got it.

finally made sense and I said, they told me I didn't have to worry about it. They'll handle everything. Well, they didn't handle anything. And then I said, did you even see that they made, they asked for supplemental money for other things that were missed through the walkthrough. And she found that. I mean, between the two of us, I think my claim has finally gotten looked at and is going to be looked at properly. So it was one of those things of, it's about integrity. It's about.

be holding people accountable, holding myself accountable. And when you start doing that, it feels good. I don't care if people like me because of it. It's about me feeling good with me. It's about me feeling happy with myself. And I think that's the main thing is that people, get, we're so worried about what people think about us, but we forget about what we think about ourselves. And we really do need to know that. And I finally feel at peace with my roof. Like I finally understand

that I was spending months trying to get somebody to talk to me about the claim and understanding what was in the claim because I couldn't understand it. And I'm not stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but I couldn't figure it out. I had every person that looked at my claim, we got five different answers. So nobody even knew. So, and it's fixed today. And it was because I was tenacious, I was holding true to it, and I just wanted to have clarity. And because I stood by that and I held to it,

I'm doing that. And so now I know what is due my roofer and not everything and, you know, forgetting half of the other stuff. They just took the entire thing and it just blew me away. And we didn't even talk like that most of the time at my kitchen table. And yet here we are.

So you just know that you don't have to rip your mask off in one day. I know I didn't. It took a long time to come out and feel comfortable. It was one toe in, come back out, go and tuck it in a little bit more. I was not one that just jumped in. I know there are people that do that, but I was not that person. And it, you know, anyway, I had to build it in a way that felt safe to me. I had to feel that safety as you do. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe.

You know, when you tell someone that you're tired instead of I'm fine, because that was my I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. When I wasn't fine, I was ready to fall apart. I felt like I was holding myself by the seams. But when I started being able to say this is how I'm really feeling, it just felt better like I could drop my shoulders for the first time. You know, I started speaking up. In meetings, I came out and started doing podcasts, OK?

Okay, I came out here doing this. mean, visibility like, hello. But let me tell you, it took, I started all this in 2017 of coming out and I didn't come out until 2023. So it's okay. And I give you permission to take your time. Just do it. That's all I say. Just take the baby steps because that's what I did. I took baby steps to feel good. And I got, I was a guest on the shows before.

I started my own and I started seeing a pattern and I was having so much fun that when the opportunity came to do a show, I did it. And that's what I'm doing. And now I've got one for Awakening Spirit going on on Fridays at 1.30. So I'm pretty excited about that. And then the other thing is, know, wear what you love. You know, who cares if people don't like it or if it's not in style? Cause I don't care about style. I mean, I like to be fashionable. Don't get me wrong, but I really don't care. I'm all about classics and just feeling good and what makes me feel good.

So start doing that. Wear what makes you happy. Those are like little micro moments, but they're also telling your nervous system that it's safe to be you. And that's a real important place to be, that it is safe to be you. And that's what I'm doing. Every single day I will do something more. And if I don't know something, like with this insurance claim, trying to understand when the adjuster was talking to me today, I know I said, I'm really sorry and I'm trying not to go into panic, but can you explain this just a little bit more?

I wasn't getting it and she did and she kept dialing it down. And you know what? People are so accommodating if you really do want to know and they want to help you. And that's what happened. And we're like, it's like we're good friends now because she helped me. I was, you know, to understand. And then I filled her in on some things. So, you know, there's like, we built this bond of connectivity and understanding. And yes, it's only a claim, but

you know, that's what we're supposed to be here. We're supposed to help each other when we don't know how to do something, because I'm not an expert in insurance and it was my very first roof claim I ever had. So I really have no basis of knowledge. So trust that. Sometimes we just don't have anything in our repertoire to even go back on. So trust that it's okay to ask questions. And if somebody thinks you're stupid, then maybe you need to leave that person because, you know, you're not stupid, especially if you're really trying to learn something.

So whenever you're feeling that you're being pulled to hide, just pause and anchor yourself. And here's one of my favorite things, just place your hand on your heart and close your eyes and just say, I am safe to be me. I trust the truth within me. And then just imagine your roots going from your feet deep into the earth and it's holding you steady.

And this is one way that you can return to yourself again and again until the mask no longer feels like home. I can't tell you how many times I have done this little ritual for myself of just feeling, you know, it's part of a grounding thing, but it also helped me to feel anchored because if we're off in the skies or we're not paying attention to where we're going or anything like that, we're not grounded and it's easier to stay hidden and invisible.

But when you anchor yourself like that, you're pulling more energy into you and

You feel safe. There's something about when Mother Earth takes your feet and anchors you, there's just something that feels safe. Almost like you're a baby with your mom again, kind of thing, of that feeling of safety that you want to have.

And when you start living from your truth, trust me, not everybody's gonna applaud. There's gonna be a lot of opposition and those are the people that you wanna send on their way because you're gonna make them feel uncomfortable because you changed the game and people get into patterns and routines and they expect certain things. And if they leave, it's okay because they're not meant to be there. If they can't adapt and grow with you, then they're not your friend. bless them for the gift that they gave you because they gave you a gift as well as you giving them a gift.

And it's okay to let them go. Yes, it can be a little painful. Don't get me wrong. A lot of people have come in and out of my life and some has hurt and some haven't, but it's okay. It's always about the gift that was given and they were there for when you needed them. And that's what you need to trust. It's just trust that your needs are being met, you're being guided and you're moving in that place. Because living authentically means that you stop chasing approval.

and you start attracting the people, the opportunities, and the experiences that are aligned with who you really are. And I can't tell you how true this is. I have been blown away of the opportunities that have presented themselves the minute I started being okay with being myself.

So redefine what success looks like to you. It's not being liked by everyone, it's being liked by who you are when you're alone.

And that's a big one. Liking you for who you are when you're alone. Because most people don't like to be alone because they don't know how to deal with themselves. And to me, I think this is important and a lot of people in my life love to be alone. They live alone. They are accomplished. They're doing a lot in their lives. And that's what I celebrate.

is those people because that's their truth and it's my truth and we understand how to be with each other in that. And we don't have to hide from who we are. So that's why I'm ⁓ creating communities and courses that I'm offering is because it's so much easier to be authentic when you're not alone in it.

So here's my invitation to you. Think of one of those areas of your life where you've been hiding. And this week, take one small step toward authentically being there. It doesn't have to be traumatic and it doesn't have to be true. Just remember, you were never meant to be the mask. The world doesn't need

your perfection. It needs your presence. It needs the real, unfiltered, whole you.

Let's take one last rounding breath together. Breathe in.

and breathe out.

Carry this truth with you. I am safe to be me.

And I really do hope that you guys really take this seriously because the world really does need you. We need your light. We need your energy. Things are changing so drastic drastically.

And I think just having fun, smiling, laughing, trying not to get caught up in the rat race is really, really huge. And I know that this Mercury retrograde, we're in the final week of it, thank God.

And I've been okay with it, but there's also been a lot of stuff that's been going on and it's it's Mercury retrograde, Kath, it's Mercury retrograde. And this is not the time to be going out and pursuing anything new or doing anything different. This is the time for you to readjust. Look at where you were, where are you going? What's the next step that you have to do? And that's exactly what I've been doing. That's why the community isn't fully started yet.

because it's not time to start it. I need to wait until Mercury goes direct because I want it to be successful. But because of this, I'm also seeing, I could do this and I can do this and then I'm going to take the leap of faith. And it's really been interesting also is that as much as I was going to do something two weeks ago, the last two weeks has been anything but what I wanted to do. I have been allegedly distracted, not really, but

I like to think that because I had another game plan for myself and everything else is totally different because of it. But I also know that I'm in the right place at the right time and it's perfect. And so I don't judge when I want to get something done. I don't beat myself up or feel like a failure or I should have done this and do the should have, would have, could have thing. I just accept it. And I just look at it. It's okay because it's like...

It's like a different perspective coming in. Like all of a sudden, for someone who didn't think I had a whole lot of work on my plate, I do have a lot of work on my plate and things are coming in and I'm seeing things and yes, I still have moments of getting frustrated about stuff, but it's okay because I'm taking most of it with a grain of salt and I'm actually having a lot of fun doing it.

And that's all you want to do. As long as you're having fun and enjoying life and playing, whatever that looks like to you, just play. Your life gets easier because you're looking at a different perspective. You're rediscovering you. The child within you is coming out because, what did we do when we were little kids? We played. That's all we ever did was play. And when you're in play,

A lot of good things happen because you're in a higher vibrational frequency. So better things come to you. Money comes to you. Love can come to you. Friendship comes to you. All sorts of things come that way. So that's what I highly recommend. I mean, I've been doing a little bit more playing than normal, which is a good thing. It's summer. It's not so ungodly hot right now. Thank God. It's just beautiful outside and I'm spending time with my cats and

You know, I've been going to some barbecues and some retirement parties and it's like, wow, this is just so much better because it's like, it takes all this stuff in our head and just makes it go away so we have a different perspective. And that would be what I would recommend for you. I also have the light activation guide that is at the KathleenMFlanagan.com site. It's free to use. It gives you some great ideas of what you can do to start.

reconnecting with yourself. They're just simple baby steps as I was told. It's a cheerio, but you know, sometimes a cheerio can be a lot. And so I highly recommend you do that. I have a lot of things on my websites, a lot of meditations and things you can do. You can reach out and have a free 15 minute consultation call with me. It's just a meet and greet.

If there's anything I can do to help support you in what you're going through in your life right now, I'm more than happy to help you with that. And just connect, you know? That's what I want, that's what I'm going to do. That's why I'm building this community and all the things that I want to put in there is to be able to help you to feel safe and feel safe to come out.

Well, that's all I have to say. I just want to thank you all for being here with me today. I really do appreciate it. If you find any value in today's topic, then feel free to pass on the link to your friends and family. If you want to learn more about what I'm doing and stay connected, then feel free to like and subscribe to the channel. And I will see all of you next Tuesday, 4 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And from my heart to yours, I hope you have a fabulous week.

Kathleen (28:40)
You've been listening to the journey of an awakening spirit with your host, Kathleen Flanagan. Join us each week as Kathleen invites those who are ready to awaken, heal and rise to live their highest vision anchored in love, joy and truth. Tuesdays, 4 p.m. Eastern.